Miso Cornflake Cookies Instead of Addressing My Relocation Depression
Everything is fine - just keep baking
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I’m moving house soon, so naturally I’m doing a little packing, plenty of crying and lots of… baking?
I mean it. I should be wrapping all my precious ornaments in newspaper or transferring my cook books to boxes, but instead I’m compulsively baking my bollocks off. I was totally fine until about a week ago, but now we’re two weeks out from the big move and I wake up each morning and practically backflip my way down to the kitchen with nothing but cookies and cakes on my mind.
I’ve been trying not to admit this to myself, but I’m actually really bloody sad about leaving this house. It’s nice here. I’m ugly-crying as I write this, which I guess is one way to live your Bridget Jones fantasy. This was the first house me and Husband lived in after we got married. It was our escape from the intensity of London, and when lockdown hit, we couldn’t have asked for a better sanctuary. Safe and sound, on a hill, by the sea. This was also the first home our little rescue dog Ripley ever knew, and I won’t put words in her mouth, but I hope it has felt like a sanctuary for her too.
Every recipe I’ve ever put on School Night Vegan was developed here, and when my agent called to tell me that a publisher wanted to pay me actual English money to write a cook book, I was sat in this exact room. Oh, and take a wild guess where I wrote, tested and photographed that book? Yeah, it all happened here.
We’ve made a huge amount of memories in this house, but as I’m writing this, I can feel the time running out to make any new ones. So instead, I’m making cookies.
The internet tells me this is a thing called “relocation depression”, it’s some sort of mammalian response to geographic upheaval. It makes sense, I guess, that we might feel a really primitive, fearful reaction to the idea of change, to the loss of a support network and the feeling of isolation. Because back in the day all of that stuff might have posed a real threat to the lives of our ancestors. So I suppose it also makes sense that in circumstances of stress, we’re probably going to resort to doing stuff that feels familiar and has predictably pleasant outcomes. To me, that sounds a lot like baking cookies.
So I’m self-soothing. With cookies. And I think that’s OK? I think it’s maybe a nice thing that, in the middle of this pretty acute bout of The Sads, I’m still learning about myself - specifically why I like to bake. Baking provides a bit of predictability when stuff gets rocky. It keeps your mind and hands busy and it, of course, puts something delicious on the table. We don’t know where we’re going to end up - we’ll be up near my family in Manchester for a while - but what I do know is that anywhere can feel like home, as long as I’ve got my dog and an oven to bake some cookies in.
So this week’s recipe is for anyone else who might be feeling a little shaky right now. These cookies have helped me a lot this week, and I hope they help you too.
They’re sort of the perfect breakfast cookie, since they’re packed with toasted cornflakes, rolled oats, dried blueberries and pecans. But they’re also a bit grown up, because they’ve got a touch of miso paste in there too. There’s whole cornflakes in there for crunch, but there’s also ground/blended cornflakes too, for crispy, malty flavour.
Recipe is down at the bottom, but first here’s your weekly wrap xx
Weekly Wrap
There’s not a huge amount to report on this week, since I’ve been knee-deep in house stuff (and obviously baking) but let’s just take a moment to admire:
The Blummin Wild Garlic 🥹
I’m acting like wild garlic is hard to find anywhere else outside of Hastings (where I currently live) and that’s silly and must stop. But just LOOK at the show our local woods is putting on right now. The smell is so intense! And the flowers are way brighter than my phone could handle. Still, it was so ethereal and gorgeous to be bathed in morning light while also huffing the smell of a billion garlic cloves - borderline spiritual.
We’ve Still Got Room For You on My Bali Trip!
There are still a handful of tickets left for my vegan vacation to Bali this September! If you’re new here, I host vegan group holidays with my pals over at The Getaway Co and this time I’m heading to Bali.
I’ve never even been to Asia before, so this is literally an entire new continent for me, but I feel in such safe hands with The Getaway Co. I’ve done so many trips with them by now and their attention to detail when planning these vacations is probably the only real solution to my crippling travel anxiety (I should also probably speak to my therapist about this, but here we are).
Anyway, head over here for full details about our trip and to reserve your spot. I hope you can make it!
This Week’s Recipe: Miso, Cornflake and Blueberry Breakfast Cookies
(With Downloadable PDF Version)
Two quick ingredient notes for you. Firstly, not all cornflakes are vegan. Many are fortified with vitamins that come from animals. For my UK girlies, The M&S own-brand “one ingredient” corn flakes are delicious and totally vegan. For anyone else, look for a vegan declaration on the packet.
Secondly, dried blueberries are strangely hard to come by in the UK but I, once again, found them at M&S. The ones I bought were pretty dry, not juicy like a raisin, so I’ve included a step in the method below to rehydrate them slightly in apple juice, otherwise they’ll just burn as the cookies bake. If your dried blueberries feel juicy, you can totally skip this step, or follow it anyway and let me know how it works out! Since this is a free newsletter, the comments are open to all!
Miso Breakfast Cookies
100g pecans, roughly chopped
140g whole (4 3/4 cups) vegan cornflakes (careful! Not all are vegan)
100g dried blueberries
4 tbsp apple juice
210g (1 2/3 cups) plain white flour (aka all purpose flour)
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tbsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
220g (2 sticks) vegan butter, at room temp
220g (1 cup) soft light brown sugar
50g (1/4 cup) granulated sugar
1.5 tbsp white miso paste
2 tbsp plant milk, at room temperature
1 tsp vanilla extract
120g (1 1/3 cups) rolled oats
Preheat the oven to 170c/340f. Line a baking sheet with baking parchment.
Spread 60g (2 cups) of the cornflakes over half of the lined baking sheet. Spread the pecans over the other half, keeping them separated as much as possible. Place in the oven to toast for 8 minutes then remove from the oven and allow to cool.
Place the dried blueberries and the apple juice in a small saucepan and place over low heat. Stirring often, heat until all the liquid has evaporated and the blueberries appear plump and juicy. Set aside to cool.
Transfer the toasted cornflakes to a blender and blend until fine. Place the blended cornflakes in a medium bowl and add the flour, cinnamon, cornstarch, baking powder and baking soda. Whisk together and set aside.
Place the vegan butter and sugars in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat until light and fluffy (around 3 minutes). Alternatively do this in a bowl with an electric hand whisk. Add the miso paste, the plant milk and the vanilla extract and beat again to combine.
Add the flour mixture and beat briefly until just combined. Add the blueberries, toasted pecans, rolled oats and the remaining 60g (2 3/4 cups) whole cornflakes and beat again until just combined. Don’t over-mix or the cornflakes will be too broken up.
Use a cookie scoop to make 2 tbsp portions of dough and place on the prepared baking sheet with an inch or two between them.
Place in the oven and bake for 15 minutes. Remove from the oven and tap the tray sharply on the counter to deflate the cookies.
Place the sheet on a wire cooling rack and leave to cool fully to room temperature (around 15-20 minutes) before serving.
Omg, we're moving in a month, and in the process of packing, and even though tbh I hate the apartment we live in rn, and absolutely love the house we bought, it's the only home my daughter has known and I'm as sad as excited. It feel silly but at least you helped me understand it's normal.
Feeling more than a little shaky, plus miso paste - so for sure baking these tomorrow when I have the day off work. Thank you!